Time to DTR with Valentine's Day.

You know that thing on Facebook that shows your "memories" and posts from previous years? Yeah, looking at that I realize, I was always in and out of a relationship with Valentine's Day. I think everyone does though, right? When you are a kid, it is all about decorating a shoe box as awesome as possible. Plus who doesn't miss those classroom parties and staying up late the night before picking out which valentines went to our crush and which ones went to our BFFs. Seriously I had a fun time doing all that stuff as a kid, and it didn't matter if you had friends that year or not, because your classmates had to give you one. Not everything in life is like that, you know?

Then you hit Jr. High and you had those, candy grams. I HATED THOSE! I never got one and it was constantly like, "Look at Tracy(totally not a real name), she got 15 suckers, like OMG, she is the BEST and I must suck, I have no friends." or you feel bad for the poor sap that got some from their mom...yeah. Thank you Mom for never putting me that low in Jr. High.

Then came High School, should I even bother? Ugh. You can get candy AND roses there. Seriously, lets all point to all the single girls and guys shall we? I did receive actually 3 roses and a bag of candy one year, from a guy I was trying to get out of my life...so I guess even if you get gifts on Valentine's it can be bad. I actually found it embarrassing to get all that stuff in front of others in class. 

Now you are out on your own, in College, or not and you have to decide whether you should celebrate or hate your life because every one and their sister is getting married and engaged. In Utah, it can be that soon you are fighting against a clock. I found this to be where I made some of my own decisions of what Valentine's Day was going to mean to me. One year I decided to get out of the house, date myself, if you will. I went to a shop where I could paint/glaze, a ceramic piece and get it fired. I can't make anything out of clay for the life of me, but glazing is so fun. So I went there I sat there for 4 hours working on a bowl and after I picked up a pizza and watched some action flick in my room while my parents had the rest of the house to themselves. The next year I invited friends, and we brought Nutella, Strawberries and my one friends made this AMAZING Chocolate Cheesecake with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on top. Guys...it was so good! It was just super fun to chat, be creative and have an excuse to indulge in decadent treats. 

Now I am married, and I realize that not everyone is, or that not everyone wants to play into the commercialized holiday. But I wanted to write some thoughts on why Jared and I love Valentines, and how we avoid undue pressure.

#1. Remember it is optional. You are not forced to celebrate Valentine's day, but why not? There are specials at restaurants and stores. It might be the best time to replenish your underwear or bras. Sometimes that lace can make you feel confident and sexy without even having a significant other. There are also TONS of single events you can take advantage of. You don't have to be in a relationship to go to a BOGO deal for dinner.

#2. Ignore Commercials. No one knows what your significant other deserves and wants, other than you or your significant other. Expensive gifts are not always what needs to happen. Do not let what everyone else is doing or expecting give you undue pressure.

#3. It goes BOTH ways. It should never just be the guy that gives a gift or plans the day. You love that guy right? Jared and I find our plans will crash and we love surprising each other, so every other year I plan the day, and he does it the other years. This includes, surprises at home, and Dinner reservations. We both give gifts, because I know Jared will, and I want to reciprocate that, because, I love him :)

#4. You can do Valentine's Day with little to no extra Budget. Flower shops raise the price of flowers this time of year, but Walmart sells them $15 a dozen and the dollar store has vases, or you have vases at home. Flowers brighten any day, but on Valentines, it simply says, "I am thinking about you". You don't even need to do flowers, you could just hand write a letter, even post it if your dating. Jared and I have been worse than poor for most of the beginning of our marriage, and sometimes it was a string of notes down the hall, it was brownies that said, "I love You" and it sometimes just a quiet night in candle light.

Now, I know that it really doesn't matter what I think, maybe you will always hate Valentine's day. I thought I would. But sometimes you can make up and be friends again when you realize it doesn't have to be expensive, or lavish or romantic even. It is up to you, you design it, but always remember that showing others you love them, or showing love to yourself is important enough to have one day out the year to make the excuse to celebrate it :)

I love you all!

I Feel Like I Have Done This Before

It is kinda crazy how I keep disappearing from my blog, then I get into the mood of doing it again? I swear every once in a while I am again sitting here trying to explain why I left, why am back and pretending that you all care. So I am just going to make it short.

I honestly don't know, but again I have the itch to write about my life, and what the hey, might as well make it public cause most of my family is everywhere but here. Not that they are all that interested in my life, but I figure I can let them decide.

So to those who decide that reading a blog that I am writing is a good idea, welcome.


This new year is not only speeding on by, but I am also finding it hard to really slow down. January was like a tornado at work and I barely kept my feet on the ground I was constantly trying not to fall behind. Sadly I did, but I am getting back up to speed. Not only is work crazy busy, but so is just basic life. Being a married adult is not easy, nor should it be I guess.

Jared and I have accomplished a lot in the time that we have been married. We prepared for sacred blessings in the Temple, received them, and got sealed for time and all eternity. We both were laid off from our jobs and got new ones all within 2016, and in the meantime we have accomplished paying off over $12,000 of credit card debt in the last 18 months. We have a beautiful home, an annoying dog, two working cars, and employment. We are very blessed and I have to say that is all I keep feeling. We have had some very financially sparse times, but the Lord has pulled us through in ways I cannot explain. We have cultivated the spirit in our home and we have grown stronger and more in love in just the 2.5 years we have been married. This is starting to sound like a very late Christmas Card. and I guess it kinda is.

Jared and I serve in our ward as Primary teachers to incredible 8 to 11 year old boys. Incredible spiritual giants we get to see grow up and gain the priesthood duties. In fact one of our students turned twelve a few weeks ago and is now passing the Sacrament. I cry every time I watch him preform this wonderful ordinance. He glows, even though he is just learning. It  is times like these that I yearn for my own children.

A few months ago I received an answer to my pondering about when we should start a family. As you might know, I am not a healthy weight, and I have struggled much of my adult life trying to lose the extra weight, so that I can feel more comfortable about having healthy children. I was reminded by the Spirit that I need to have FAITH, and that it was time that Jared and I look to Lord and be prepared to do as we are commanded, and what we yearn to have.
I have spent many hours on the internet reading blogs and saw my doctor, all have positive reports and tons of support. Not only that, but I have been trying to walk at least a mile 5 times a week and the support on social media from family and friends has been phenomenal! Thank you all. We have had little time with Jared's job change and horrible weather to get out and go, but we will soon and keep you all up to date on that as well.

Most of you know that I have conquered a lot of mental health issues from the past. They are  still there, but with therapy and with the Atonement I have come a long way. One thing that I have had a hard time ridding myself of is a very negative statement that repeats in my head as it was vomited into me as emotional abuse 11 years ago. " You are fat and ugly and no one else will love you." Jared often reminds me that he loves me, that I am beautiful and not "Fat" to him. (Seriously, I married that amazing of a man.) And I decided to post up a sign to change the words in my head. It states, " I am BEAUTIFUL, I am HEALTHY and JARED LOVES ME." Even though I am not at my healthiest, and though I don't often find myself pretty, this lets me have a positive affirmation and it clears the negativity from my mind. I have only had it up since the beginning of the year, and already I hear more positive feedback from my mind and soul.

Guys, you have listened enough to me tonight, but I want to post this picture of us, it is a silly picture, but it is us and I love us.